Christian Carter of Catch Him and Keep Him interviewed famed online dating coach Evan Marc Katz recently. From that interview, Christian Carter gleaned some great tips for singles about how manage online dating and your membership to online dating sites.
The first aspect of online dating that Katz talks about is how to write your online profile so that it gets the attention of those people you want to attract. One of those ways is to first LOSE the adjectives. Go to any online dating site and you will find that 95% of the profiles use adjectives to describe themselves such as “nice, warm, caring, funny, family oriented, looking for a lifelong partner, honest, successful, blah blah blah”. Ok – but what does that actually TELL you about he person behind the words? Not a thing.
Instead, create an actual description of yourself in your online profile by using stories and anecdotes about yourself. Tell the other singles something like, “I’m the kind of gal who makes friends with the trash collector on my morning walk” or “Not only do I love the typical ‘long walk on the beach’ but I occasionally stalk sand-crabs with a flashbulb and digital camera!” So paint a picture, compel them, illustrate yourself in a unique but truthful manner and your profile will be smoking hot!
Another great topic Katz and Christian Carter discussed was how to actually craft a compelling email when you find a man online that you want to contact. This is incredibly important because you have one chance to make that man want to read your profile and respond to you. You must stand out from all the other singles in the online world. The flip side to this – you cannot make him think you WANT HIM more than he will want you.
Katz tells Christian Carter that in order to “Catch Him and Keep Him” you have to make that man think he is lucky to be hearing from you. According to Evan Marc Katz – when you are trying to impress someone, you actually come off as unimpressive, even desperate. Make your initial email short – and make him smile. Find something in his online profile that you can PICK on and bust his balls over it (in a totally playful way). Then stop! Sign off – bait the hook and wait.
After you start getting hits on your profile, you need to start weeding out the good seeds from the bad. Take it slow and take the time to screen your potential dates up front. Christian Carter agrees with Evan, saying a woman can never be too careful in the online dating world, and to never go out with a man simply because he is pressuring you to meet him face to face. Meet him where you are comfortable. One great way is to meet your date for lunch instead of the typical evening date. If you can’t do lunch, then go for coffee first, or meet in the park on a Saturday afternoon or some other socially safe situation.
One more “screening” tip – when you are asking your new contact questions, don’t be obvious about the answer you want. What do I mean? If you want to know if he is looking to get serious, ask him instead if he is looking for a casual relationship. He will be more than happy to tell you he is if he thinks you are as well, otherwise, he will tell you what you WANT to hear. Be crafty! There is nothing wrong with that, and it will save you a lot of heartache in the end.
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