Do you know someone who always falls on their feet and gets what they want? Do you feel an inward cringe of envy when they start another anecdote ‘you’ll never guess what’s just happened….’? Do you sometimes have difficulty believing life can be so easy for anyone? They meet exactly the right people at exactly the right time, and attract extraordinary offers of support with apparently little effort.
You may have uttered a deep sigh and moaned to yourself, ‘It’s not what you know it’s who you know’ or ‘I’m just not lucky’ or ‘things like that never happen to me’. You may be giving up on your dreams, convinced it’s just not meant to be.
Well, the excellent news is that you can create opportunity in the most unlikely places, with little resources and a small amount of effort. And here’s how.
1. Be clear about what you want
What do you want? When? Where? Who would be involved? What does it look like? How does it sound?
You want to travel the world… which countries, what time of year, what will be your most eagerly anticipated destination, who will you go with, when will you leave, how will you fund it, what will you pack?
Or perhaps you want to appear on stage… what will you be doing, what will you look like, where will you be performing, who’s in the audience?
May be you want a new job… what’s your ideal position, where would it be, who would you be working with, what would you be wearing, what would you be earning?
A clear idea that you can daydream about in HDV and surround sound is much more likely to become reality than a vague and ill-defined notion. Your brain can’t tell between real life and strongly imagined scenarios, and will start to believe your dream is real.
The more you convince yourself it can happen, the more likely you’ll take action to bring your dream to life. That’s what generates what some people call ‘luck’. It sounds a bit loopy, but it does really work.
And if you know exactly what you want, you’ll be able to share your dreams with others and they just might be able to help you.
2. Talk about it
Once you’re clear about what you want, start talking about it. Most people will be inspired by your boldness, openness and honesty, and may offer support. That help may be the piece of luck that you’re after. If you know 20 people, and they each know 20 people, you have network of 400 people within easy reach – as long as they know what you’re after.
A note of caution. Dreams are often fragile. Do not share you excitement with doom-mongers and naysayers. Their cynicism and negativity may infect your beautiful dream, and destroy your belief that it can happen.
Find out where people who share your dream hang out, and go talk to them. Try Meetup, Facebook and Linked In to find likeminded people who will add to your enthusiasm, rather than trample on it. Lucky people generally have big networks, and are eager to help. So go and meet them! Get a business card printed, even if you’re not in business. It’s easier to exchange contact details that way.
And email them the next day to say it was good to meet them, and pass them on any useful snippets of information about anything you talked about. Show willing and cultivate your network!
3. Ask and it is given
Ask people for help. It’s not rude or pushy, unless you ask in a rude or pushy way. People like to be asked, it makes them feel valued and respected. Who can resist the approach ‘I’m really interested to hear what you think about….’?
Hint: Ask people for something small requiring little effort, such as an opinion or a contact, rather than any action. If you ask your friend if they know someone who could help, they may well end up offering to help you themselves. It’s easier to ask when a ‘no’ doesn’t feel like rejection.
Be bold. If the best person to help you is a world famous expert, drop them an email. It’s very likely they were successful in part because of their audacity. They will be impressed by your gutsiness.
Whether you get help from Richard Branson, or Sam next door, always say a sincere ‘thank you’ immediately, and then follow up with a note or an email. People who feel appreciated will try even harder to help you next time.
4. Put yourself out there
What skills do you have? Work out what you are really good at, and do it for the benefit of others. Even if they are unrelated to your dream, your skills have huge value in creating luck for others.
If you bake excellent cakes, hold a cake sale in aid of your favourite charity, or for your friend’s birthday party. If you’re an excellent declutter person, offer yourself up to help with the neighbours’ spring cleaning. If you spot someone in trouble, do whatever you can to help them. Connect your friends with others with similar interests. Look for opportunities where you can be helpful and provide people with solutions.
Do this without agenda, and you’ll begin to enjoy it. And eventually, through some apparently unrelated route, the luck-laden benefits will come flooding in to you.
5. Say yes
When a new opportunity comes your way, say yes. Don’t think about it too much, just say yes. Even if it’s really unrelated to your dream, say yes. If you’re hanging out with likeminded people, the chances are there will be a link somewhere. Even if there isn’t, you will open up your existence to new opportunities and people, and that’s where the luck lurks.
Now you’ve learnt how to create your own luck and make things happen, why not go and try it out? It will work if you make it happen.
Melissa Mehta is a personal and professional life coach and writer, who takes an empathetic approach to providing support and motivation. A highly effective communicator, Melissa is friendly and relaxed in her coaching style. She enables clients to view their situation from new angles, revealing information which accelerates and reinforces progress.
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